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| Xanga.com....I have been with you for almost three years.
The times have been meaningful on the posts I have written. However, as time goes on so must I. I will now blog at blogspot
as a means to be more focused with what it is I write about, and also
to start fresh, both in terms of ideas and also the envronment.
Anyway, goodbye xanga, it has been fun.
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| Once again, I'm intrigued with attraction. How does it work
exactly? After experiencing it myself I am still not very
sure. It just happens. This thinking brought about another
question: can person be trained to be attracted to certain
qualities?
For example, back in the Caesar-Rome days, women who are slightly
uh....full, are considered sexy, as these types of women usually are
easy to impregnate. In one chinese city, large and bulky women
are sexy, as they can (no joke) protect the men.
I have grown up all my life being shown and told that skinny, curvy and
tall girls are sexy. To these other people in my previous
examples, they are told otherwise. So does that mean if a girl I
feel is sexy walks around in Rome, men wouldn't give a second glance to
check them out? Or is there some other type of instinctual
response that, regardless of what you are taught, will determine the
attraction level?
Personally, I think there is that instinctual response. However,
I cannot explain it, because I don't know how, except that I can feel
it.
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| Remembering back to the part where I met this girl in LA during spring
break.....I think I was just captivated her beauty. The more I
hang out with her, the less I become attracted. The physical
attraction is still there, no doubt, I mean....she is beautiful.
But other than that, I don't get the butterflies in my stomach.
The funny thing is, is that her family is my family's rival. The
nitty gritty is her family owns Konica, and we own Fujifilm in
Indonesia. It sounds like Romeo and Juliet....and it COULD've
went in that direction, if I was still attracted to her. I guess
it is a good thing that it didn't.
My grandma heard about it and was giving me a warning not to fall in
love with her. The reason is because of this rivalry. I can
understand how Romeo and Juliet feels now. No matter what other
people say, when you're in love, no one else can take you out of
it. Only death, such as what happened with R&J can separate
them. So in my case, I felt that if I was in love with her, I'd
do anything in my power also, no matter how irresponsible it may
sound.
The reason is because love is a mixed bag. You never know what
you're gonna pull out of that bag. Whether good or bad, or
nothing at all. The mixed bag only has a finite amount, same as
how love does not last forever. But for better or for worse,
there is only one life to live, and I want to say that I have been in
love at least once before I pass away, and I feel it is worth giving
away my important things to experience it just once, rather than not
experience love at all.
Oh well, at least I don't have to give up many things for Konica girl,
since the attraction feeling died out already, she's now my good friend
though.
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| In business, making deals mean making money. Half of the
negotiation when making deals is about politics. Not just world,
country, or government politics, but also business
politics. If I make this deal with you, what do I
get? How to make sure our schedule will remain on time? If
making a joint venture, how should we split the shares? Bla bla
bla....
In relationships, falling in love means eventual marriage.
Similar to business, half of the negotiation is about politics.
This time though, it is family politics. How to handle finances,
what names to give the children, schedules to visit relatives, my
space, your space, what to do when one of us is upset, etc.....
The other half of the negotiation....I consider some type of
management. In business, the other half will consist mostly to
have the sense of responsibility for your tasks. You will manage
your side of the deal while the others manage theirs. To make
sure that you do your part, basically. In relationships, its all
the same. Make sure you do your part. It is not a good idea
to just sit back and take all the benefits from other parties in
business, so it is with this similar idea that in a relationship you
can't just sit back and relax.
The irony of this post, is that I was not even going to talk about
this. I just suddenly thought of it. Anyway, what is on my mind is how weird the dating game is in
Indonesia, or maybe it's the girl that is weird, which I hope is the
latter coz if this is how dating works in Indonesia, it rear end sucks.
Let me describe. Whenever we get to meet (which is on average
once a month), it feels like time has stopped and I'm just enjoying her
company, and I have a feeling that she might feel the same. Due
to a three hour distance between us, it is really hard to meet.
On weekdays? Forget about it. I work till 5-6, and I really
don't want to take that step to go on weekdays yet.
Weekend? She works on Saturdays, and after that it is either
going out with friends or family on Sundays.
Calling her is the next option. The problem is she friggin hardly
answers her phone. And for some reason she either never bothers
to check missed calls, or she just doesn't want to call back.
Same goes with text messages. In some cultures, this usually
means she is just not interested, but when I haven't talked to her for
a week, and when I finally connect on the phone, she will ask why I
"disappeared" for the past week. Yohooo? I been calling you
like five times a day and you never answered, did you not get my text
messages?
I test her alot, to figure out what she is feeling. When I meet
in person, I do the eye contact, look down and check her out, then
again look for eye contact. I see the sparkle in her eyes and the
smile which "usually" means "I like it that you are checking me
out".
Then another test, touch her and see what happens. Well I haven't
really made it too obvious, but I do the bumping trick, if she bumps
back, she's interested. Yup, check Kinda glance the touch,
see if she pulls back. Nope. Check.
The third test, which was kinda crucial, was when we discussed our
age. You see, she is 1.5 yrs older. Well, she was the one
that said,"oh but nowadays it is more common for the girl to be
older" Ok by now I'm thinking this is going well, I think there
is potential here. Of course there are other tests, such as the
silent treatment, but I have not managed to do that one yet.
The last test will involve just looking her in the eye and not saying
anything, then wait for her response. If there is that sparkle
again, and the smile, then most likely its a go. BUT BUT..... I
can never damn meet her for some reason, theres always problems.
Last week she was supposed to come to Jakarta, but her dad fell down
and needed help (he's like 60+ cant blame him) so she postponed.
Again, talking to her on the phone doesn't really help because it is so
hard to reach her. I've asked her the best times to call and she
always says "anytime". Right.....
For some reason I have liked more girls living out of town than in
town, and more older than younger.....someone up there trying to test
me? Coz this is driving me nuts!
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| Clubbing is fun. It's thrilling, full of confidence,
sexy....sweaty. Imagine the clubroom so crowded that everyone is
skin to skin, dancing, doing their thing. Then imagine....it's a
room full of guys.....Eww?!?!
That is the problem with clubbing. If it is a clubroom full of
chicks, the guys will drool, the girls will also drool. However,
if its full of guys dancing with each other..SKIN to SKIN....omg I
think even the girls will say "ghey". This is why I believe that
clubbing is entertainment meant for the ladies. The guys just
join in. It is absolutely no fun dancing with another guy, but is
not the case if 2 girls dance with each other.
The primary issue when clubbing with a bunch of girls is that in
Jakarta, all the girls will form their own little circle and just dance
together. The guys? We just act like idiots dancing behind
them. Sure some may say that's great, can bump em if you get my
drift. However, the girls here are smart, they make sure to leave
some space, and they always figure out how to create that space between
ur crotch and their fine ass. And if you do successfully do your
thing, they'll turn around and give you the "omg you pervert" face.
So then, what are we guys to do? Well, some go back and drink
while checking them out, or just stand there and look at the chicks
dancing, or both. There really is nothing much to do if the girls
go in their own world and do their own thing.
Another issue is picking up chicks. In the US, there are girls
that go clubbing hoping that someone will hit on them. In
Jakarta, it does not happen. The reason is twofold. One,
not that many hot guys. Two, girls come in packs. Enclosed
packs, no one else can enter. Makes you wonder what happened to make
such a huge gap between the number of hot girls and guys. You can
count the number of hot guys, but not the girls. Of course
theoretically this sounds like heaven for us guys. It is heaven
only if the girls want to get hit on. Girls go clubbing for fun,
while us guys go here to check em out having fun. It's fun at
first, but gets boring later as you finally figure that you're left out
while they are doing lesbian activities together.
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